


I finally realized

by haiiro51



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Bullying, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-31
Updated: 2017-05-31
Packaged: 2018-09-14 21:26:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9203786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haiiro51/pseuds/haiiro51
Summary: "Tsukki as in moon! You also have a mysterious but beautiful aura around you, just like the moon, Tsukki!"~So,when was it? When was it that the love you feel towards friends turned into the love you feel towards your significant other? When was it that the feeling ofI'm glad he's here to protect meturned intoI want to protect him? When was it when the thoughtI'm glad he's hereturned intoI want him to be closer?~And their love kept growing bigger and bigger with each minute they spent together, forever.





	

**It all started back in kindergarten.**

The first day of kindergarten was everything but what Tsukishimas parents said it would be. Don't worry, they said, you'll make many friends. They couldn't have been more off on that one; he didn't just _not_ make friends, he started getting bullied right off the bat. The small kids thought it was funny he wore glasses and made sure they told him so every time they saw him; going to such measures as to throw them on the floor a few times. Of course, Kei wasn't one to complain to his parents about it; he just lied and said he didn't really feel like talking to the other kids. However, the situation worsened with each passing day. Kei often returned home with his hair all messy, clothes slightly ripped or covered in mud. He was often found in his room or sitting in a dark corner no one knew about in kindergarten with his earphones on; music was the only escape he could think of, and it helped. Well, no one was supposed to know about that corner, however, Kei found he was wrong about that one day. 

He was listening to music like he did on most days, when something appeared before him ; he immediately prepared himself to get called names or to get his glasses taken, however such things did not occur. He looked at the small figure standing before him. It was a new boy, he had just started attending this kindergarten and Kei tried his best not to even approach the boy; but here he was. The small boy smiled at him, extended his hand and said "Pleased to meet you, my name's Yamaguchi!". Tsukishima did not reply; he just got up and walked away avoiding the other boy for the rest of the day. He thought he best not get too involved with him or he'd get bullied too.

Keis plan didn't quite work out since Yamaguchi kept following him wherever he went for the next few days; until Tsukishima decided he should put an end to it. "Stop following me around or people will make fun of you"  
"Why would they?" the smaller boy asked with honest confusion  
"The others don't really like me, they think I'm weird"  
"I don't think so though"  
Kei didn't really know what to reply, his only reasoning as to why they shouldn't talk is because the other boy could get into trouble with the other kids, but he didn't really seem to care. Tsukishima did though; he didn't want to be responsible for someone getting bullied or for someone feeling the way he did... _lonely_. So, he decided to try avoiding Yamaguchi again, but no matter how hard he tried to hide, run away, sound cold or rude, Yamaguchi was still always there with that silly smile of his that made Kei feel safer and less alone. 

After a month of resisting, Kei finally gave up. "My name's Tsukishima, I haven't really told you before". And the other boys face light up, he didn't even bother hiding the happiness and Tsukishima thought that Yamaguchi was very honest and he wished to be more like him in that aspect. "So, you're Tsukki!" the smaller boy said after he had calmed down a bit.  
"Why Tsukki?"  
"Tsukki as in moon! You also have a mysterious but beautiful aura around you, just like the moon, Tsukki!"  
_Since then on wards Yamaguchi refused to call him anything but Tsukki_

When the other children bullied Tsukki, Yamaguchi was always there to help. He wasn't strong, or smart with words, and he'd always end up getting bullied; however Tsukki was not alone anymore. He had someone to talk to, he had someone to laugh with, to cry with, to go home with. He finally managed to make a _friend_

~

So, **when was it**? When was it that the love you feel towards friends turned into the love you feel towards your significant other? When was it that the feeling of _I'm glad he's here to protect me_ turned into _I want to protect him_? When was it when the thought _I'm glad he's here_ turned into _I want him to be closer_? 

Tuskki searches for the answer to these questions one night as he lay in bed, the two of them already in high school. The only reason why he realized his feeling for Yamaguchi is because he thinks he saw Yamaguchi get confessed to behind the school gym earlier that day; when he saw that he got a weird feeling in his stomach and a strong pain in his chest; feelings he later realized to be jealousy, anger and sadness. He didn't want to lose Yamaguchi, but he also didn't want him to be unhappy, so he was at a loss for what to do. He could just ignore Yamaguchi; but that would fall into the _lose Yamaguchi_ part. He could cheer him on, but he also thought that that would fall into _lose Yamaguchi_. He could confess and guilt trip Yama into dating him, however that would fall into the _you're an asshole, Yama is unhappy_ part that he was also trying to avoid. So, the only conclusion he got to was **Pretend you saw nothing he might not say anything**.  
Now that that was out of the way, Tsukki was still bothered by _when_ did he start having feelings for Yamaguchi? It couldn't have possibly happened in kindergarten, he was too small to even understand such things; even though he always felt the closest to Yama that feeling was more equal to pure friendship. So, when was it? Tsukki kept revising their memories together, but the amount was too big, he ended up with a headache and zero sleep before going to school. 

In school, he tried acting as if nothing happened, and he brushed the dark bags under his eyes with "I was up late playing games" which Yama believed since it actually happened more than often. He lied after classes saying he has to hurry home to help his mother with something; just to get extra time to think, and less alone time with Yamaguchi; that way there was a smaller possibility that Yamaguchi would bring up the confession into the conversation.  
But, no matter how much Tuskki thought about it he couldn't pinpoint an exact moment his feelings developed into the ones he has now. The problem to that was the fact that Yamaguchi was always adorable; the way he smiled when Tsukki praised him, the way his cheeks flushed when Tsukki called out for him, the way he seemed happy whenever Tsukki was close. Tsukki even thought that the clumsy Yama was adorable, that even his trembling voice when they were alone sometimes. All of it was perfect in Tsukkis eyes. And then, he realized. 

The moment he fell in love with Yamaguchi happened two years ago. They were at his place, playing games, just like they normally did. But, something felt strange, Yama was acting weird somehow. He sat closer to Tsukki than usual, he was more clingy and he talked less. When Tsukki asked what was wrong, Yamaguchi just blushed and said he has to leave early. He never gave him a reply. But, for some reason, when he was leaving he looked sad. Tsukki kept thinking about the obviously fake smile Yamaguchi gave him before leaving his house that evening, but he thought about Yamaguchis blushing face even more. That night was also a sleepless one for Tsukki. And ever since that day he's been overly conscious of him; he thought that it was just so he wouldn't make Yamaguchi sad again but he now realizes that that is when the thought of _I'm glad he's here to protect me_ turned into _I want to protect him_. 

~

So he realized his feelings, what should he do with them now? Not like he can confess to Yamaguchi, he might get creeped out and never speak to him again, and that was one thing he never wanted to happen. He decided to hide his feelings, to just go about as he did before, they were friends and that's all he needed; and maybe just hopefully Yamaguchi won't mention the girl. Tsukki felt that if Yamaguchi mentioned her he wouldn't be able to hold back and he'd let the cat out of the bag. 

Yamaguchi brought it up on their way home that day though.  
"So, um, I talked to this girl the other day..."  
Tsukki was at a loss for words. He couldn't find an appropriate reply; besides Yamaguchi didn't say he was confessed to so it'd be weird if he said something like "Congrats" so he decided not to say anything. The air was heavy for a while before Yamaguchi started talking again.  
"She told me to give this to you, but I couldn't find the right time to... I didn't read it or anything...Um, here you go." the usually cheerful boy had a pained look on his face as he took the envelope out of his school bag. It was a love letter, but it was for Tsukki.  
"Wait, she gave you that for me?"  
Yamaguchi nodded, not bothering to look at Tsukki.  
"Ah, here I was worrying on my own.."  
"Tsukki?"  
"Yamaguchi... I like you. I saw you talking with the girl the other day and I freaked out, I thought you were getting confessed to... I-I didn't want to lose you, I kept wracking my head about what to do, how to act around you now that I've realized my feelings. But I feel it would be too dishonest of me not to tell you, and I feel like you'd be hurt if I hid something from you; and then you might end up crying and I definitely don't want to make you cry... So, I like you, more than a friend."  
It went silent for too long and Tsukki thought he made the wrong decision, maybe he should've been a dishonest jerk; that way Yama might've stayed by his side longer. He then continued, hopping to calm the situation down.  
"Of course you don't need to reply, I'm not expecting one. I guess it's disgusting to get confessed to by your childhood friend after all, so you can just pretend this never happened if you prefer..."  
Yamaguchi just stopped walking, finally lifting his head to look at Tsukki. He had tears in his eyes which made Tsukki panic.  
"Why are you crying? Look, I'm sorry, I'll stop liking you or something just don't cry, please." Tsukki said as he wiped the tears off Yamas cheeks.  
"Idiot. I'm not crying because I'm sad..."  
"What?"  
"I.. I like you too Tsukki!" the smaller boy said as he jumped to hug the taller one. He pulled him into a tight hug while nuzzling his head in Tsukkis chest. "I like you sooo much!"  
Tsukki returned the hug, not saying a word until Yama stopped crying. He then pulled the boy into a kiss causing Yamaguchi to turn beet red and stay that way until they arrived home; the fact that Tsukki held his hand didn't help. 

_And their love kept growing bigger and bigger with each minute they spent together, forever._

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed! ♡  
> Please check out my other works too! ☆
> 
> ☆☆
> 
> P.S. if you want look me up on ig @haiiro51


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